From the things sabotaging us the most in reaching our wonderful goal is the widespread idea of personal responsibility.
The one able to convince others of thinking he is responsible for his actions, receives the needed praise. But this responsibility should be connected with success.
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A director of a highly established company can act as much responsible as he wants, but if the company is suffering loses then he is in a serious risk of being replaced with someone one.
This desire to leave others with the view we are successful shows a very odd aspect of our behaviour. There are many people out there that are taking position including a lot of responsibilities, however in reality they are not capable of handling the job properly.
“Flexibility to Use the Concept of Responsibility.”
The quality these people developed can be described as “flexibility to use the concept responsibility”.
They manage to pass the buck to others when something is bound to fail and in the meantime to strategically assign it to themselves for the success, for which they have probably not contributed.
We are being left with the impression that the concept responsibility is fictional only to be used when necessary, based on what is the most lucrative alternative in the situation.
And that the one who manages to pass it decisively to others in case of failure is gifted with an ability that promises him authority.
Living a life where you carefully act by maneuvering liability can bring you huge dividends: a promising career, pile of money and admiration.
But the price paid for a life like this is pretty expensive.
Being in constant fear that your next manoeuvre can be exposed is threatening.
Also, the fact you are in permanent dependence from other people on which you have built your success and those from which you need their recognition is a burden that you carry all your life.
Playing the game of allocating responsibility will never bring you something unreplaceable – peace. Lasting safety is something you will not have the chance to experience.
What Are the Extortionate Rules of This Unfavorable Game?
1. Someone makes a certain decision and knows in advance that the outcome can be either failure or success.
2. In favourable cases, he should be able to remain responsible in front of others for his fortune. If the opposite occurs, he should seek an alibi.
3. And this is how he delegates a part of the responsibilities to others, in case of fiasco to use as a scapegoat. If he feels obligated, he will say something like: “I gave my best, but the other one failed me.” He will tell it to others expecting to receive their sympathy.
This subversive game is played in all aspects of life. We participate in it whether as victims or as initiators.
The substantial question is – how can we free from this roundabout of kicking liability, finding an alibi and uncertainty?
The answer is simple: For everything you do, shoulder responsibility. If you cannot deal with it, deviate it in advance. In case of failure, search the reasons first in yourself then in the others.
The Benefits of Taking Responsibility.
The benefits of having the courage to be responsible are priceless.
1. We won’t be dependent on others assessment for our actions but only from our judgement of things.
2. Every decision and its realization is our own problem. This attitude will boost the satisfaction we get from the work done.
The one who has an alibi in case of unsuccess receives only half of the satisfaction from working.
3. If the enterprise you have undertaken proves successful, you will be proud to know you are the person who made it happen.
4. If, however, the enterprise fails, you will know that regardless of your effort you have put – the mistake is yours. Instead of wasting energy in passing responsibility on others, you can use it to find we you made the mistake.
This is how you take advantage from the defeat. The experience gained will teach you where are your weakness and next time you will perform better.
Taking responsibility for your actions will give you the needed freedom to live a life without bars.
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